I have been a fan of Glee since the beginning. My heart leapt and my spirits lifted as Mercedes belted out 'don't stop' for the first time. As a gay man I've ridden the waves of happiness, fear, triumph, heart break, sorrow and laughter that has been the development of Kurt and Blaine and even Karofsky (I totally called that one) coming to terms with their sexuality. Rachel has infuriated and inspired me. Santana has surprised me. Britney has shocked me with her brilliance. I still can't watch early episodes for fear that I will succumb to the sorrow that is missing Finn. I have sung along with, cheered, dreamed, cried, laughed and celebrated along side the characters whose lives have mirrored so much of my own and many of those I know. But, as the show enters it's final season there is one friend of mine that I realise has been absent from the show: clinical depression. Would you be able to work this old friend into the last series?
According to WHO (World Health Organisation) 350 million people suffer from depression and it is the leading cause of disability world wide. Think of the people it would benefit to explore such a prolific ailment on Glee. Think of the stigma it could help combat. Your show has already done on so much to tackle difficult and often uncomfortable topics that draw teens and adults alike to watch it. It's time to show the world how people react to depression, the kind that can't be fixed with a song or the realisation of ones dreams?
Glee has championed so many taboos. And, yes, we've seen depression on the show before. And it's always been well drawn and sensitively portrayed. But it has also always found a solution beyond proper medical treatment. For many, clinical depression and other mental illnesses are not so easily dealt with. It has no root cause other than an unfortunate physical disability. It can take years to get a handle on, subsequently breaking up friendships, families, careers and lives along the way.
I am gay. And I have suffered depression because of it. But I also suffer from depression and anxiety that no amount of acceptance or hugs or boyfriends can fix. It is a mysterious longing, ennui, an intangible pain that yearns for a solution to a problem that doesn't exist. But, unlike coming to terms with my sexuality, the act of recognising my depression does not make everything better. It's a disability like any other. I have to manage every day with the aid of medical help just as Artie has to use a wheelchair to get around.
It is the one part of me that I am still reluctant to share and open up about. It is the part of me that I am not always honest with others about. Unlike the prejudice that I've faced as a black man and as a gay man, it can feel insurmountable because 'the calls are coming from inside the house'. It is the dirty secret I've hidden from boyfriends and family and friends for fear of how they will react; rejection, lack of understanding, rebuke, disappointment. They are shadows that leave me cold when I'm in a room full of people who care. So how could I possibly share that darkness with the world?
I am gay. And I have suffered depression because of it. But I also suffer from depression and anxiety that no amount of acceptance or hugs or boyfriends can fix. It is a mysterious longing, ennui, an intangible pain that yearns for a solution to a problem that doesn't exist. But, unlike coming to terms with my sexuality, the act of recognising my depression does not make everything better. It's a disability like any other. I have to manage every day with the aid of medical help just as Artie has to use a wheelchair to get around.
It is the one part of me that I am still reluctant to share and open up about. It is the part of me that I am not always honest with others about. Unlike the prejudice that I've faced as a black man and as a gay man, it can feel insurmountable because 'the calls are coming from inside the house'. It is the dirty secret I've hidden from boyfriends and family and friends for fear of how they will react; rejection, lack of understanding, rebuke, disappointment. They are shadows that leave me cold when I'm in a room full of people who care. So how could I possibly share that darkness with the world?
Like so many, when I am depressed I search for a cause: Am I unhappy at work? Am I dissatisfied with my relationship? Am I not living up to my full potential? This questioning and examination only seeks to deepen my depression as the answer is always bound to elude me. Everything is fine yet I am unhappy. I feel ashamed. I feel I am lacking or broken because I can't make it work. There is guilt because I am not appreciating the people and the things in my life that are wonderful. And, over and over again, the people who do know tell me they love me and support me and I still feel like I'm letting them down. So, I have to work hard to overcome it - but not on my own.
I have to be open with friends and family this private and frightening thing, a sentiment which has been mirrored in so many other situations on Glee. I have to work with medical professionals to keep things in check and help me understand what's going on. And, more often than not, it's friends who spot my symptoms long before I know what's even going on. It's scary to have to depend on others to help where I am physically incapable. Normally, I believe I can do anything I set my mind to. So knowing that it's my mind that is set against me is terrifying. And the trust and faith that I have to put in those around me to help overcome it is immense. However, it's that trust and those relationships that help me overcome many of my darkest hours.
I can understand the reluctance of any television series to tackle such a large issue as clinical depression and mental illness. It's a big topic that can't be wrapped up in a short story arc, it's not funny and doesn't always have the nicely packaged and clean ending. Do you advocate medication or therapy? Do you show that relationships with good people, characters you love and admire, can break down and friends walk away? It's a big tangle of issues and upsetting situations that can grow arms and legs. But I believe that you and your team on Glee could do this in a way that is sensitive, true and beneficial to people who struggle and those around them to help spot the signs.
Depression is a scary, invisible illness that is blind to race, religion, talent or sexuality. It can take down the boldest and brightest. But, when handled, it can elevate people from their lowest points to become greater than they ever imagined. What a feeling it is to get on top of something that feels insurmountable. And, you find out how sparkling and true many relationships in your life are.
So, as Glee comes to a close next season, please take some time to explore a condition that affects (and takes) many lives every day. Glee has already made such a difference to sooooo many people. How many more could be helped by your incredible work? And hey, if you need someone to come on the show and sing about it, I'm happy to sing a few bars for you. ;-)
A huge fan,
Themo
I have to be open with friends and family this private and frightening thing, a sentiment which has been mirrored in so many other situations on Glee. I have to work with medical professionals to keep things in check and help me understand what's going on. And, more often than not, it's friends who spot my symptoms long before I know what's even going on. It's scary to have to depend on others to help where I am physically incapable. Normally, I believe I can do anything I set my mind to. So knowing that it's my mind that is set against me is terrifying. And the trust and faith that I have to put in those around me to help overcome it is immense. However, it's that trust and those relationships that help me overcome many of my darkest hours.
I can understand the reluctance of any television series to tackle such a large issue as clinical depression and mental illness. It's a big topic that can't be wrapped up in a short story arc, it's not funny and doesn't always have the nicely packaged and clean ending. Do you advocate medication or therapy? Do you show that relationships with good people, characters you love and admire, can break down and friends walk away? It's a big tangle of issues and upsetting situations that can grow arms and legs. But I believe that you and your team on Glee could do this in a way that is sensitive, true and beneficial to people who struggle and those around them to help spot the signs.
Depression is a scary, invisible illness that is blind to race, religion, talent or sexuality. It can take down the boldest and brightest. But, when handled, it can elevate people from their lowest points to become greater than they ever imagined. What a feeling it is to get on top of something that feels insurmountable. And, you find out how sparkling and true many relationships in your life are.
So, as Glee comes to a close next season, please take some time to explore a condition that affects (and takes) many lives every day. Glee has already made such a difference to sooooo many people. How many more could be helped by your incredible work? And hey, if you need someone to come on the show and sing about it, I'm happy to sing a few bars for you. ;-)
A huge fan,
Themo
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