This is just a tribute...

The Lady is a Rose - 2004

Farewell to my best friend Ryan Edmonds.

Before she died I was lucky enough to show her that I have dedicated my first book to her. I wanted her to know how much she has inspired me and how much her friendship has changed me for the better. She will always be with me in the pages and I'm not ashamed to say the bulk of the Gemmy and Sem duo is made up of my relationship with Ryan.

Really, Ryan has always been my muse; my funny valentine. All through University I was roping her into the various art projects I was doing. Mostly, she was the only person who I could count on to consent to participating in my various bizarre projects. And that is what inspired me. Though she was reluctant to take part (she actually openly despised it), the thing that always struck me was that she did it anyway. There was nothing in it for her, there was no ulterior motive other than it helped me; gave me comfort in knowing that no matter what she would always be there for me.

She sadly died after a battle with cancer at the age of 30. But not before she married the love of her life, Ben, on 5 January 2013. It was beautiful. If you are so inclined please read more about her journey and possibly make a donation to Caring Bridge or the Dana Farber Institute where she was treated. 

There's nothing I can write that will convey the enormity of losing someone as special as Ryan. So, I wrote this instead:

Ryan Z Edmonds 
(30 May 1982 - 14 January 2013)

I stopped and stared into the night trying to figure out which star was singing into existence as you departed.

You were my best friend. You showed me how to love someone and were the first person to show me how to love myself.

You believed in me as a person, in my heart, not just in my abilities. You believed I could be a better me. I am better for knowing you.

You had a laugh like a mad woman. It filled the room and reverberated inside my being long after you had finished.

You lived life like a mad woman. You didn't look both ways to cross the road. You lived life with abandon and drank in all it had to offer.

You were brave. It was too soon for you and you fought.

You never shopped. You "acquired" clothing (sometimes mine) like you did friends. Good things just came to you. They became part of you.

You refused to buy new things if you thought you could fix them. You could usually fix them.

You were never cross but conveyed you displeasure with a look. You made me feel happy by being in the same room.

You were terrible at keeping in touch and yet I was always sure that I was in your heart.

You were my partner in crime. We planned parties. We raised hell and broke rules. We took care of others and each other. We laughed more than we cried. And when we cried we always ended up laughing.

You were silly. You had a dark sense of humour (Sorry for spilling your secrets)

You loved flowers. You blossomed when you were happy and never totally wilted when you were sad.

You were my muse. You hated being in all of my art projects but did it anyway.

You were kind. You were the best person I have ever known.

You sang. You shined.

You changed my life.

You lived.

‽

PS. Ryan would want us to laugh, so members and friends of the Kingdom will appreciate the Tenacious D reference of the title.

PPS. Ryan, if you're reading this in heaven, please let me and DK know if: A) Santa is real and B) OJ did it. (*cue Ryan laughter*)

PPPS. I've written a bit more about Ryan here as well as a little something about grief for all of us.

Ryan - the things she did just for me.