Two weeks in it's already seen it's ups and downs. But, one of the ups has been going back through my notebook for the last few months. Turns out I've been writing and drawing and creating the whole time through. There's lots of half started and half finished musings. But, the 'creative' me has never stopped - maybe just gone a bit quiet.
In some ways I've been ramping up for this journey for a few months. This summer I finally 'got in touch' with my spirit animal. I know, that sounds lame.
My spirit animal is blue whale who I've named Sandra Oh (because Sandra Oh is amazing).
Finding Sandra Oh
Years ago on a writing retreat there was a shaman (I can't remember if this is what she officially called herself) who walked us through the process of finding our spirit animal.
To my disbelief I discovered mine was a blue whale. When the shaman asked us to reveal our animals the conversation went something like this:
Shaman: What animal do you see?
Me: Um... this can't be right. I see a whale?
Shaman: And, what's wrong with that?
Me: Well for one, I'm terrified of whales.
Shaman: Why is that?
Me: They're huge! The idea of being stuck in the water with one is terrifying.
Shaman: Hmm... that means that there's something inside of you that you're not ready to accept. Someday, when you need, just meditate on the whale. It will reveal its relevance to you.
Me: Uh-huh *eye roll* So, lunch then?
Meditating on whales
After losing a family member in March I was gearing up to move house later in the summer. I HATE moving house. I knew it would be stressful and in an attempt to pre-empt some of the stress the shaman's words came back to me. I decided to 'meditate' on a blue whale the best way I know how - drawing.Mostly I just did image searches of whales and started drawing them. The thing I felt particularly drawn to / freaked out by were their big ass creepy eyes. Then I started doing a bit of reading about blue whales and their more astonishing features.
Maybe it was just having something to focus on other than the ever growing to do list in real life. But, as I drew whales and continued to learn more about them I found a sense of calm. Blue whales are amazing animals.
- They are the largest animal to have ever lived on earth
- They can survive at depths up to 500m (For scale that's roughly 711 pounds per square inch (psi) and it only take 15 psi to break a human skull)
- They usually swim alone or in pairs
- Their calls are the loudest of any creature on the planet and can be heard at distances up to 1600 km
- They are considered to feel emotions and are known to protect other creatures
The thing that I found most striking is how strong they are. However, despite how deep they dive, despite all the pressure they can withstand, they still need to come up for air.
What does a whale spirit animal means (to me):
- Take a deep breath and start again - It means I'm good at handling pressure. But, I also need the wisdom to come up for air when needed.
- Reach out - The whale is a great communicator. It may swim relatively solitarily, but it needs to keep in touch with others, even remotely.
- Be the big, bold, beautiful me I'm meant to be - I should never fear my own power and voice. My strength, my energy is a force for good. If others fear it then I'll just swim on.
- Use my power for good - (some) whales are known to protect others. When I have the strength, I should take others along for the ride.
So why does Sandra Oh have wings?
Because I want my whale to have wings, that's why? How am I supposed to walk with my spirit animal if it only lives in the water? So, she has two forms. And, legit, why shouldn't she have a unicorn horn when she transform into super majestic flying form?I took inspiration from Native American drawings of whales and eagles for her markings. I think she looks far more majestic as an actual whale, but I personally like imagining her as the cartoony version at the top :)
How do you find your spirit animal? No idea. I wrote off what I was learning at the time as hokum. And, I wouldn't recommend an online quiz as anything meaningful (though they can be fun). But, learning and 'meditating' on mine has been immensely helpful over the last few months. It provides a point of focus in the noise of life. So, if you have the chance, why not find yours. Or just pick an animal you like, and learn about it and see what lessons you can learn.
Hope you enjoy!
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